Feeling It - Helping Your Children Express Themselves Appropriately

I recently read the book Not Like My Mother: Becoming a Sane Parent After Growing up in a CRAZY Family by Irene Tomkinson (which is free for Nook btw!). It is full of great information! At one point, it talks about what happens when someone is not allowed to express themselves emotionally and how the hurt and resentment of being stifled presents itself later as anger. I grew up in a family that didn't allow me to express my sadness and frustration and I now see the repercussions in my own life. Things tend to get brushed aside and pushed down only to explode later. I continue to struggle with properly expressing myself and am prone to pendulum like behavior at times. But I want more for my daughter.
As Cadence gets older (she'll be 2 next month), she is having more instances of frustration. Some people would call them tantrums, but I don't think it is helpful to negatively label her behavior in this way. She is expressing herself in the only way she knows how. It is important that I create a supportive environment for her where she feels safe to feel her feelings. I have to help her learn to identify and label her emotions so she can express them and her needs in an appropriate way. It is my job to help her find a way to work through the emotion instead of pretending it doesn't exist.
For example, we were in the couch together. She was coloring and I was journaling. She grabbed my mechanical pencil and when I took it away from her she threw herself onto the floor, flailing and screaming. I didn't tell her to stop crying or not to pitch a fit. Instead, I said, "I know you are upset that I took your pencil away, but it is not yours and it can hurt you. Ouch! You can draw with these", and directed her back to her crayons. 
I validated and labeled her emotional reaction, rationalized with her, and gave her an alternative. The idea is that, eventually, she will be able to self rationalize and therefore regulate her own emotional responses. Since implementing the Validate, Label, Rationalize, and Offer a Solution method, I have begun to see a noticeable difference in her behavior. Instead of having a meltdown when her dad wouldn't let her hold her toothbrush, I got down on her level and made eye contact, explaining to her that I knew she was sad she didn't get to brush her teeth, but she could have a turn after daddy. She immediately stopped bucking and grabbing for the toothbrush and sat calmly waiting until she could take a shot at brushing her teeth (which she happens to really enjoy!).

I was inspired by Monet's Water Lilies to make a page in my art journal

It's not exact, but not a bad effort for a colored pencil sketch while eating lunch =)

Is Your Period Killing You?

For 13 years I suffered from intense cramps. I'm not talking Take Some Acetaminophen and Break Out the Heating Pad Cramps, these were debilitating cramps that landed me in the ER several times because they were so intense I thought I had a kidney stone (which I have frequently, but that's another post for another day). I saw several OBGYNs, but no one could pinpoint the cause of my menstrual pain. One doctor suggested I had a low threshold for pain, another said redheads experience pain more intensely (which is true, thanks MC1R and my mutated Chromosome 16), and the general consensus was that I would have the live with it until menopause. 

Fast forward... After the birth of my daughter I got on a Go Green kick. Cloth diaper, natural cleaning supplies, the whole 9 yards. I even started using Mama Cloth (gasp!). And guess what? Nearly 2 years later and my cramps are pretty much obsolete. This got me thinking that maybe disposable feminine care products had been to blame the whole time. What I found was shocking and disturbing.

Dioxin is used in the bleaching process of commercial pads and tampons. It builds in the body over time and has been linked to cervical and breast cancers (it's also one of the main ingredients in Agent Orange!). They also contain BPA and BPS which linked to heart disease (the number one killer of women) and cancer. They contain crude oil pastics, phthalates (which are known endocrine disrupters), and DEHP which has been shown to cause multiple organ damage. The adhesives of pads and the odor neutralizers of both pads and tampons (polyethylene, polypopylene, and popylene glycol) are link to cancer, birth defects, and infertility. Yuck!

Not only are the chemicals and toxins a deterrent to using disposable pads and tampons, the financial and ecological repercussions are as well. Worldwide $15.2 BILLION are spent annually on feminine care products. A five year stash of disposable pads or tampons will cost approximately $330, while reusable mama cloth will only run about $48. That means that disposables are 6.875 times more expensive than reusable ones! Disposable pads and tampons take 25+ years to decompose and the average woman will create 300 lbs of waste from them in her lifetime. 

If disposable feminine care products are so dangerous than why are they still legal? The FDA has found a way around the hazards of the toxic ingredients. They say that the chemicals are only dangerous through repeated exposure. I'm sorry, but I'm pretty sure 24 hours a day for about 60 days a year for an average of 37 menstruating years per woman's lifetime constitutes repeated exposure.